Why “Fake it ‘till you make it”, doesn’t have to be fake.
Sometimes we have to get out of the way of ourselves, in order to be ourselves.
When we use the term, “fake it ‘til you make it”, we refer to pretending to be someone that we are not.
The fear is that when you pretend to be someone you’re not, you don’t feel like yourself. The people who you are now surrounded with, enjoy the “fake” you, and then you wake up one day hating life because you feel like you are living a lie.
I’m here to tell you, that is not the case…you don’t have to feel that way.
We feel like “ourselves” the most when we are in a state of flow.
Flow is when you are IN IT. Meaning, you are so focused on what you are doing & are doing it so well, that you forget about:
- Your sense of self
- The time
- Your surroundings
Like being in the middle of playing a sport you’re good at, telling a passionate story, writing when you don’t need to stop to think, etc.
You’re in flow.
So what happens when you’re not in a state of flow?
We feel the most unlike ourselves when we are faced with uncertainty. This is when we are doing something new for the first time, you’re in a place you’ve never been in before, or are in a situation where you don’t know what the outcome will be.
This is when, “fake it ‘till you make it” comes in.
Let’s say you are going into a job interview for a big scary corporation, and you feel completely unqualified.
You are feeling very scared, nervous, and afraid that you are going to bomb.
There is no way you can “pretend” to feel something else and MEAN it! The fact of the matter is, is that you’re feeling a very specific type of anxiety. There is no pretending out of that. At least that is what your lower self believes.
Then your higher self kicks in and you stop for a second and see what you can change, and what you do have control over.
You think back & remember that feeling of confidence you’ve had in your life, so you know that it is possible for you to feel it…there is some reservoir of confidence somewhere within your mind that you can tap into.
So you decide to use that emotion of confidence that you know how to feel, and apply it to this situation. You put your shoulders back, stand up straight, use eye contact and speak in a very clear & comfortable manner.
You decide to act like yourself, even though you don’t feel like yourself.
Say you do this for the next 15 interviews you have lined up.
By the 15th one, you’ve “pretended” so many times, you actually start to feel that way. You actually start to feel confident regardless of the doubtful voice in the back of your head.
Suddenly, you’re shifting away from faking it, and starting to be able to just make it.
You know the saying, “it’s all in your head”? I believe it to be true, we just don’t know how big our head really is. In a good way, of course.
Your mind is like a massive lake, I would even go as far to say like a vast ocean.
If a stream opens up, the water will flow through it.
If you create a small new path for a new stream, a little water flows through. If you come back everyday for 15 days and make the path deeper, more and more water will go carve through.
You now have a new path. Now you have a strong river, and oh my is it flowing!
This water is a metaphor for confidence, for purpose, and for that sense of direction we all intuitively have. It is your flow. It is what allows you to lose track of everything around you when you are focusing on something you are passionate about.
Our minds will have our body run on autopilot until we step in to make a change.
If being confident, or any other emotion, feels like yourself the most then you can literally train yourself to feel like yourself.
It’s just getting yourself out of your own way.
We just have to:
- Want it.
- Be willing to do the work and dig the new path.
Are you ready to feel like yourself?
I know I am!